I do not mean to sound racist, but maybe it does. I do not know if the ease of making connections with people from ASA has something to do with the fact that those people are Asian like me. Finally, after stripping away all the make-up, all the lies that were said and the secrets that were kept for the sake of pretense and affectation, my reflection revealed the real me, and I made friends who fully accepted me. It was not until the new beginnings of this first semester began and not until I joined Asian Student Association that I was finally able to forge friendships with people who I was completely honest with from the beginning. During a shameful period of time in high school, I did not act like the real me and after I decided be true to myself, to be good, and to be honest, people still saw me with my mask on. One time when I did find a friend to confide in about the mistakes I had made in the past, she ended up gossiping out of spite with everyone she could about my secrets - secrets that were not even accurate about me anymore - staining my reputation and altering people's prejudgments about me in the process. Ever since I moved away from the Philippines until before I came to UNCC, I was never a part of a circle of close friends, especially not one with whom I could be completely honest. I was in high school, I was dumb, I did stupid things to fit in, look cool, and feel accepted. How I have changed from the person I was in the beginning of the semester to the person I am now is like the juxtaposition of Mulan's face with and without the make-up - one side being a version of ourselves that has been molded and modified to please other people and the other side showing who we really are.Ī time when I pretended to be someone that I was not was back in high school with the friends I used to hang out with. Not until coming into college did I finally begin to uncover the real me. I was taking piano lessons I did not enjoy, I did not have friends with whom I could fully be myself, and I claimed to be a Christian. Before starting my first semester, I was not being true to myself.
It is like that moment in the Disney movie Mulan when Mulan first wipes the make-up off half of her face, and we see the imagery of half her face still covered in make-up and the other half revealing her real face. Reflecting on this past semester, I realize how much I have changed and how much of that mask I have chipped off, how much make-up I have stripped away. Either way, oftentimes we have to put on a mask to please someone else, and we consequently fail to present our true selves.
But other times, we sacrifice the choices we would have wanted to make, whether we even already knew what we wanted or not.
Many times, it is good to be told what to do and how to live, otherwise one could quickly get lost in this fast-paced culture. In many ways, we are constantly being told what do to, such as by family traditions, peer pressure, religion, and the expectations of society. The people we interact with, the media, and norms of our culture are factors that can influence our choices and decisions. I think there are two kinds of people we try can become: we can to become what we want to be, or we can become what someone else wants us to be.